When you’re in a relationship it is so important to remember that you are two people, that is even more important after you move in with your boyfriend or girlfriend. It is also important to remember that moving in together is a big step! There is so much that can go wrong and you both have to be prepared for whatever may happen. Here are some tips that me and Hunter, my boyfriend, came up with and hope that will help any couples out there thinking about moving in together.
You are two people! I said that at the very beginning but I fell like I need to elaborate. If you have been dating for a while chances are that you now have mutual friends, some mutual assets and some mutual interests (hopefully you had those before). You probably spend a fair amount of time with your SO. The important thing is to take time for yourself and let each other breathe.
Why is this important? Once you live together, more likely than not, one or both of you is going to feel like you’re spending too much time together. Technically you will be spending more time together because, again, you live together now. Our solution, we found time to do something each of us likes without the other one. I like to go to Kazaxe (Zumba on steroids) or Pole class and he plays video games (games that perhaps I don’t play or like). We still workout together and we still play some games together but sometimes it’s nice to just have something you do on your own.
Establish chores very early on! Hunter and I got into maybe three or four fights immediately after moving in because stuff just was not getting done. I suggest that you start with a list of what chores you both hate doing. For example, Hunter hates dishes and I hate taking out the trash. It just so happened that I did not mind doing the dishes and he did not mind taking out the trash if it meant he did not have to do dishes. Problem solves. After you guys figure out what your “hard-no’s” are then figure out the collaborative chores are. For us, it’s things like laundry, vacuuming and organizing the office. We also sat down and discussed a reasonable schedule for cleaning. Little things everyday do a lot but every Sunday we get together and do a big clean. The big clean is mainly there to ensure that the place is set for the work week and we do not feel stressed on Monday.
Why is this important? Because if you do not figure this out prior to moving in, it’s reasonable to assume that you guys will be on very different pages concerning the maintenance of your place. Give a little, get a little. There is nothing wrong with not cleaning everyday but do discuss what both of you expect to be done everyday or as needed.
Discuss money before you move in together! I cannot even explain how many times I’ve heard my girlfriend complain about the finances in their households or how many times I’ve read a story on reddit about one party spending money on stupid stuff. Remember that you need money for rent and bills! Discuss a budget before moving in with your SO so that you always have money for said rent and said bills. Luckily, I have not had to deal with this as my mother helped us budget… she is like a budget master. My main thing here is that spending money on stuff you want is great but don’t push the burden of rent and such on the other person.
Why is this important? Because nothing tears people apart faster than money. This is a fact. Most divorces happen because of money deputes. Don’t let money tear you guys apart.
These are not all the tips I would wish to share but as Hunter and I learn to live with each other, there will be more!