The “nice gal” is in all of us thanks to society telling us that we are not ever to be mean to the boys.
The male ego is no different than ours. It is easily hurt, squashed, doused out. As a child I was told many times to stop being mean to boys even though boys were always picking at me.
“It’s because he likes you.” The teacher would say.
The teacher was a problem because that whole train of thinking is a problem. Luckily, my parents help me snap out of that. Hurting a boy’s feelings is no different than hurting a girl’s feelings. But why am I bringing this up?
I made a video about being a “Nice Gal,” the girl who gets presented with a male (usually but not always) who is being disrespectful, abrasive, forward, and inappropriately sexual towards her and says nothing concrete to defend herself because she doesn’t want to be mean. She laughs of his invasive questions while thinking a charming smile and giggly “no” will send the message she wants.
She is wrong.
During my stint as a “Nice Gal” I acquired two, count them, TWO different stalkers. One, threatened to call the cops on me if I ever called the cops and told them what he was doing/saying to me. I wasn’t scared in the slightest because, my father was an actual cop and although this young man claimed he was a cop, he was still a sleaze ball that would go away for a long time. He was easily dealt with through logic and a few choice threats of my own. He has since tried to friend me on multiple social media outlets, blocked on every one.
My second, much harder to get rid of, stalker was a total reddit “nice guy.” As in he wasn’t nice at all underneath it all and he tried so hard to convince me otherwise. He constantly, for a year, badgered me to be in his martial arts videos. I consistently, but weakly, said no mostly because they were not good (not to crap on someone’s art or anything) and because I did not want to do it. He continued to message me for days on end until I’d eventually feel bad and send a feeble “hey.”
He then one day showed up at one of the TKD schools I worked at, luckily I was not there that day and claimed he wanted to sign up his son. He specifically requested me. When I found that out, I immediately told my boss that this man was a stalker and a liar. TO THIS DAY I do not think he actually has a son. After this, I assume my boss called him and said he couldn’t come in, he stopped messaging me for about a year after.
Out of the blue he messaged me when I “retired” from teaching martial arts. It was the same old song and dance. “Be in my video” “just a few kicks.” I still REALLY didn’t want to but stupidly offered my services as an editor of the videos. He wasn’t having it. I then, FINALLY, broke. I told him that I had tried to remain cordial to him all this time but now I was annoyed. He constantly messaged me and who try to get me to pity him if I didn’t respond. He even tried calling me multiple times through Facebook Chat because I refused to give him my number. He wanted to “explain” his side of things. It was sickening. I took back my invite to edit for him and told him to never contact me again.
His true colors finally showed. He called me every hurtful thing he could think of and some I’m pretty sure he had to look up. I, however, did not feel bad at all. Now I KNEW that I had made the right choice. I blocked him as well. He is still subscribed to me on YouTube but blocked from all of my other social media. Hopefully if/when I drop this video, he get’s the picture.